My first experience of intentionally letting go was during a match in the 12’s Orange Bowl. I was playing against the No. 1 ranked U.S. 12’s and under player in the back draw and won the first set. Steve beat me in the second set. Back then, we had ten minutes to rest before the third set would start. Somehow, during those ten minutes, I found my zone and stopped worrying about winning. I completely let go of any notion of needing to control the outcome. I played so well, winning 6-0. Unfortunately, I didn’t register the significance of that pivot and after many years of ups and downs, I got distracted and forgot to work on the art of letting go.
Ten years later, another pivotal moment of letting go came to me during a pro circuit match. I was up a set and struggled in the second. I had trouble playing freely and was unable to control my attacks. The second set dragged on, and we ended up playing a tie-breaker. During the tie-breaker, I felt like the sky was a ceiling made up of hard rock, lowering to my height and then pushing me down. I couldn’t handle any point. I was down 6-1 in the tie-breaker. At that moment, I thought to myself, ‘I’ll be playing the third set.’ That thought took the pressure away from winning, and I suddenly felt relaxed and playful. I won every point in the tie-breaker and avoided a third set.
I played hundreds of matches, but those two were memorable because they made me question my state of mind. Typically, when things were not going my way, I would try to force the win. It would work against weaker players but never against the best. They could smell my fear.
It’s common to be trained to think you must win. There is an obvious reason for that: you compete to win. But thinking about winning is the same as thinking about the future. You have no control over it. So, wishful thinking will not get you there; only moment-to-moment action will give you the chance to win.
Letting go is the way to bring yourself to a state of mindfulness, and it will help you stay sharp for each shot. Billie Jean King Jr. told us as kids that we must ‘play one ball at a time.’ If you let go, your attention to the match will be undivided. Your mind won’t be polluted by the need to control an outcome in the future, and you’ll be free to just play.