When I was coaching full-time at the Kings Highway Racquet Club, a parent came to me and asked how her daughter was doing. I started telling mom about her daughter’s progress, but she stopped me and asked again how her daughter was doing, explaining that outside of the family, I would see her daughter more than anyone else. This statement made me think more deeply about our influence over the lives of our students.

Over the course of my training, my coaches didn’t just help develop my game. They taught me how to overcome mental and emotional difficulties, open my mind to learning new things. Most importantly, I learned about mindfulness, kindness, being honest with myself, and taking responsibility. Tennis is more than just a game, it’s a teacher and representation of life.

Throughout the years of coaching and playing, I learned that tennis is not an isolated aspect of our lives but an integral part of developing our being and finding liberty. Everything I learned translated into other aspects of my life. Here are some high-level thoughts for coaches (and parents who teach) to consider when teaching tennis:

• Tennis, like all other sports, is how we learn physics and math. We created parameters but in essence, we are using our body to swing a racquet and hit a ball to a set area. We learn to work with gravity, force, and other physical variables. The more you’re open to connecting with physics, the better you’ll play.

• Tennis is best played without thought. A player should learn to observe and be aware by feeling and being attentive without working with fixed viewpoints. There are near-infinite combinations of speed, height, momentum, placement, and spin that a player must adapt to. Thought, guessing, or wishful thinking will only cause a delay in reaction time and make it difficult to adapt consistently. Thought prevents the athlete from existing in the state of flow.

• Expectations of winning or losing will distract from being in the moment. It’s another thought but the most detrimental of them. If you’re thinking about winning, then you’ll likely be afraid to lose. Your mind is also in a space that does not exist. The future or the past a non-existent and if they’re taking up space in your head that means you have less for observing reality. A student must thus learn to let go of outcomes and focus on playing moment to moment. Billie Jean King Jr. would tell students that they should “play one ball at a time.”

• Tennis has the word “love” in the game. Open your mind and heart and learn to love the ups and downs of this sport. This will teach compassion. Tennis will then become a healing activity. After all, playing tennis adds about ten years to life expectancy.

• If you teach your students to love and believe in themselves, then you’ve succeeded. Failure in coaching occurs when your student feels guilty for missing.

• Don’t take this sport too seriously. Commitment is important if you want to become a professional player. However, tennis did not always exist and thus should be seen as a sport that enriches your life. It’s not life or death. If doom and gloom is overshadowing your daily life, then it will be difficult to enjoy tennis.

• Tennis is a safe space to learn to become a better person. To find freedom from within.